CATALYST NEWS

Eva Dahm, CPCC, MA

March, 2004

Dedicated to your growth and exploration

TAKING RISKS IN YOUR LIFE?

I am reading Rhonda Britten's book, "Change Your Life in 30 Days," after hearing her speak. One exercise she uses that I like is called Stretch, Risk or Die.

Imagine a bull's eye with four sections. At the center is the Comfort Zone where most of us hang out. Repeating our daily patterns over and over again: lulled into routine, holding on to grudges, and not stepping out.

The next three circles are labeled Stretch-Risk-Die! So as you might guess these are three levels of fear induced when we do step out.

Each of these three areas is SELF-DEFINED. A STRETCH is your lowest level of fear. A stretch for me may look simple to you and vice versa. Going to the dentist for a filling is a stretch for me. I feel 10 years old again at the dentist. I only go because letting it fester is worse.

Last week when my dentist found a small cavity (the first in years), I tried to talk her out of it. Of course, I've found a female dentist who hurts more than I do if I express pain. Just what I need.

A RISK takes courage to accomplish. Revealing so much of myself monthly in these newsletters and on my web site was and is a risk for me. I might tell one or two people some of these personal growth lessons, but to email them to over 100 and to have the web site available to millions is a risk.

THE DIE ZONE

Then there's the DIE ZONE. Obviously this is where you are totally stepping out and feel like you'll die when you do. This is how I used to feel about being self-employed-so scared that I'd surely die. Britten says these DIE ZONE moves have dire consequences. Funny that after realizing how much I had always been a coach, there was no choice but to coach and be self-employed. Another DIE ZONE for me was facing a written and oral coach's exam and wondering what I would do if I failed!

Since each person gets to say whether an action is a Stretch-Risk-or Die, we also don't get to judge another's risk-taking ventures. Much like yoga where only the person in the position knows how much they are relaxing into the stretch. Only the person involved gets to say what level of fear is present.

So why are Stretch-Risk-Die important? First if you want to change something in your life, taking a risk and facing a fear may be necessary. Stepping away from routine creates new spaces and new opportunities.

I originally went to a career coach because I was so very miserable as a recruiter that I could no longer stand still. I had to change and had to move on.

Second, facing a fear and acting anyway creates confidence and a feeling of really being alive. I still remember the first time I went snorkeling. I had to do a swimming test in a pool using a snorkel. It involved diving beneath the water, swimming across the pool, and then surfacing and clearing the snorkel water out by blowing. I'm not exactly comfortable in the water (even preferring showers to baths), and this test was scary to say the least.

However, once I got out and snorkeled, I was rewarded with a life-changing glimpse of another world-life under water. How colorful, calm and fun it is to float on gentle waves and spy on fish, shrimp, and anemone.

It is interesting to me that so many of the activities in my new profession of coaching are stepping out of my comfort zone. Since training is about personal growth, every one of the five workshops was challenging. Each training class on the phone meant coaching in front of peers. The exam speaks for itself--three master coaches as examiners and a videotape! Creating and leading workshops is risky. Learning to lead a telephone class and doing my first with a few hours notice was a die for sure. Speaking to service groups where you have no idea who will attend is a stretch for sure.

I am reminded that I heard years ago that the body sensations for fear and excitement are so similar that we can mistake one for the other at times. Nervous stomach, butterflies, an empty pit in the stomach-which is it?

So challenge yourself: What area in your life do you want to change?

What would be a stretch in this area?

What about a risk?

What would create: "I'm gonna die" fears?

My most recent DIE ZONE visit was a year ago when we joined a group and rented personal submarines. We jumped into the ocean and dove underwater and came up into a plastic hood that was supposed to be filled with oxygen. The hoods were attached to underwater scooters with propellers so we could explore the ocean at a depth of 15 feet or so. Neat idea. I spent most of the 30 minutes under the water worried about my oxygen supply, my propeller direction, and if I was staying close to the divers who were guiding us. Anyone who sees the video tape of my in this experience gets a laugh at the look of terror on my face.
A definite "GONNA DIE" OUTING. I was so shaky when I got back on the boat that I skipped the swim with the sharks part of the tour. One DIE ZONE event per day is plenty for me. I was feeling very lucky to be alive when we got back on dry land.

Keep track of your Stretch-Risk-Die moves. Give yourself a big pat on the back for each. Facing our fears is not easy. The rewards, however, can be great.

Change Your Life in 30 Days, Rhonda Britten, Penguin, 2004.