CATALYST NEWS
Eva Dahm, CPCC, MA
December, 2002
Dedicated to your growth and exploration
Learn the Art of Receiving and Giving
Since it's the season, let's discuss giving and
receiving. In this season, everywhere the theme
is giving and giving more. Give a new car, give
the latest toy or electronic gadget, give a fabulous
party, give, give, give.
There is a cultural belief that a saintly person
gives and gives and never asks for anything in
return. I personally believe that people are either
more comfortable when they give or when they receive-one
or the other.
Wayne Muller points out "all of life is
intimately connected in a web of giving and taking…we
cannot live on the earth and not give; we cannot
live and not receive."
Receiving
How about receiving? How are you at that? I'm
still working on this lesson-letting my yoga teacher
place a blanket over me before the ending meditation
or letting a friend buy dinner unexpectedly. I
find it sometimes difficult to relax into the
kindness of another. How many of us cannot simply
accept a compliment or kindness? Saying thank
you and smiling as a response to a compliment
is the start of developing the receiving muscle.
Don't discount the comment (Oh, this old thing?)
or the gift. Just bask in it. Let their love wash
over you.
David Steindl-Rast says "Life is give and
take, not give or take…When we take a hearty
breath, we give ourselves to the air we inhale;
and when we give it out again, we take a quick
break from breathing…We are talking about
a giving within taking and a taking within giving…a
life giving give-and-take against a mere taking
that is as deadly as a mere giving."
Giving
On the other side of the equation, how do you
give? Are their strings attached or a subtle purpose
in your giving? Are you trying to get something?
One of the connections I made years ago was that
my over giving was related to my own neediness.
So when I work on caring for myself, then I wasn't
giving out of need but out or real love.
How have you felt when someone refused to accept
your compliment or your free coffee or meal? You
are frustrated at not being able to give to them.
You wanted to acknowledge how important they are
to you by showing some love. These feelings of
generosity and love are enhanced when someone
graciously and appreciatively receives.
Gifts
To further explore giving and receiving, ask
yourself what's in it for me when I give or serve
others? Do I grow and learn more when I teach
others? Let's pause to acknowledge the good results
we receive when we give-see the gifts in our giving.
It's there, I know, because of the wonderful life
lessons I learn daily as I coach others.
Become more aware of how you are connected to
everything and everyone. What is your gift to
others? It may not be anything you DO but who
you are-creative or encouraging or nurturing.
That's what you bring to the world-your place
in the tapestry. You've been contributing your
calm nature or your curiosity your whole life
and without even trying. There's no effort because
it's who you are. Your unique contribution and
purpose.
Wayne Muller again:
"We are always giving, we are always receiving.
When I am spacious and easy with my offering,
I am assuming that it will always return to me
in some form."
So in this season, ask yourself how you give
and how you receive and what are your unique gifts
to the world.
If you would like to discuss these issues further,
call me. I'd love to partner with you to be the
best you can be. I am also sending you a gift
certificate to use for your self or give to another
for an initial coaching.
Love and light,
Eva
Eva Dahm
Coach Catalyst
630-369-9824
www.coachcatalyst.com
Wayne Muller, How, Then, Shall We Live?
David Steindl-Rast, Gratefulness, the Heart of
Prayer
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